 |
The Problem with Sizing
My first child, Annie, is almost 3 years old. She’ll turn 3 at the end of June. When I was shopping for her summer clothes at Wee-Cycle It, I didn’t buy 3-T clothing. I bought 4-T. While she isn’t an overweight child, she is stout and she has a long torso.
I questioned myself several times before checking out. Did I need to buy 4T?? They looked so BIG. But yes, I did need to go up a size. And here’s why: she’s going to be 3, and I don’t want her showing her booty to the entire free world.
If I go with the size of her age, the skirts will be shorter than I like. If I go with the size of her age, when she lifts her arms, I’ll be able to see her belly button.
Let me tell you something…no woman has any reason to be showing Target shoppers her booty every time she bends over. When I’m at Ingles and I see a woman reaching for the rice on the top shelf, I don’t want to have an extensive view of her abdomen. As women, we have the job of keeping ourselves covered up and modest. The only person we should be baring our booty to is our husband…not the stocker on aisle 3. Ahem.
1 Timothy 2:9 – “And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes.”
Teach Her Early
So, let me ask you something. Do you think that if I let Annie show her booty and belly right now that when she turns 13 I can suddenly change the way she dresses? Nope. I have to start teaching her NOW what is appropriate and what is not. I need to let her know NOW that she needs to dress modestly and cover herself up…and if that means I have to dress her in larger clothing, so be it.
What Does Modest Mean??
Dressing modestly doesn’t just mean that when you bend over, everyone can’t see your panties. It also includes the things that ARE covering your rear end. Are your pants painted on? Can you breathe when you sit down? Is your shirt see-through? For me, this means that neither Annie nor I will ever wear anything that says “JUICY” across the bottom. And let me be frank…having CUTIE plastered across your rear isn’t “cutie” after the age of 2.
1 Peter 3:3-4 – “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Now, dressing modestly doesn’t mean that you wear a burlap sack every day. It means that you cover yourself up. You CAN be cute and covered up. For me, it means that I let Annie wear knee-length skirts and longer. I like her shirt to cover her stomach…and I refrain from buying her booty shorts that read BOOTYLICIOUS on the back.
I realize I’ve likely ticked several of you off. Sorry about that. I have been told that I am too opinionated…but at least I’m opinionated with my booty covered up.
And because I’m a Mama…and because I make “cents,” I’ll be spending my cents on clothing that teach my children how to dress modestly while looking beautiful.
**One of my best friends, Erinn Linkous, has just started a blog called Embracing Everything Emma. She’ll cover (pun intended) a little bit of everything, including MODEST childhood fashion – on a budget…because that’s how she rolls. I can’t wait to see where her blog goes….because she’s my fashion consultant.
*This post is linked at Proverbs 31 Thursday on Raising Mighty Arrows, at Weekend Whatever on Your Thriving Family, at Works For Me Wednesday at We Are That Family, at Homestead Barn Hop at The Prairie Homestead, and at Simple Lives Thursday on GNOWFGLINS.
|
About Stacy
Hi, I'm Stacy! Welcome to Stacy Makes Cents! I'm a naturally-minded, frugal living mama, who likes to blog about living debt free in everyday life. Delicious (and healthy) recipes, money tips, and frugal living posts abound here! Enjoy your stay. Romans 13:8 
Thank you. When I see how my friends let their daughters dress, I am glad that I don’t have a daughter. My next door neighbor (she’s 13) is allowed to wear bikinis all day long. She will sit out in the front yard, twirling a baton, or practicing her cheer-leading in a skimpy two piece. Grown men slow down on the street to watch. I wonder if she is going to make it through the summer without getting pregnant or stolen.
I remember being taught modesty by both my parents. My dad would have thrown a fit had I walked out in my front yard in my conservative one piece swimsuit, much less had I been out performing for the neighborhood in a bikini. I hate to tell these young girls and women that what tantalizes a man is what he CAN’T see, what he can imagine. Showing him everything is not much of a challenge. I wore undershirts and shorts under my clothes until I was a teen and I turned out fine. I also wore something they called ‘slips’ that my niece had never heard of.
I guess I’m officially old now that I’m griping about what the kids wear.
I feel for all you good parents who are waging a war with our increasingly hedonistic society.
I still wear a slip!!
My daughter (age 5) has already noticed that she is one of the few that wears a one piece at the pool. I told my husband that we have to stay living in our little neighborhood until she graduates because on our block there are 3 other parents who also value modesty and have girls her age. Since we must be the only four families in the city we need to stay together so the girls can encourage each other!
Tara @ Simply Made Home recently posted…It just doesn’t work for me!
Yes, stick together!
I’m already covering my little girls (4 and 2 months) and I have been all along. I tend to take things a step further than most. I don’t like bare shoulders either. Anything “jumper style” gets a tee underneath. I like shoulders covered, and knees, and belly.
I keep my girls in dresses too, part for modesty, but mostly because in this culture of gender wars, I want my girls (and myself) to stand apart as feminine. I’m not saying that there aren’t feminine pant and short outfits, but it’s a line I’ve drawn for now. I may, at some point, allow for some of those cute ruffled bottom pants under a long dress style shirt, but I don’t know. Haven’t yet.
We’re in a culture war as well as a spiritual war here… both for our girls in their femininity and modesty and with our boys and what they are forced to see every day.
Babychaser recently posted…An Annivesary of Sorts
One more thing…
It is hard to find dresses that are long enough for my girl (below the knees), especially when others want to buy for them. I’ve taken to measuring a minimum length for grandparents, etc. I measure from the shoulders for dresses and from the waist for skirts. Then the grandparents who are really serious about buying for us can just take a measuring tape to the store and check. I’m hoping this will stop all the dresses that “looked long enough” and the frustrations on their part. It turns out to be a size or two bigger (i.e. 6x for dresses rather than the 4T she wears in shirts.)
Mostly though, I’m making her dresses. That way I can use her right size and just add length.
Babychaser recently posted…An Annivesary of Sorts
I’ve got several things for Annie that have lace or things sewed on the bottom to extend the length…and it looks really cute!
I just LOVE wearing skirts and dresses…and dressing Annie in them too. It makes me feel more feminine, which I think is a great trait.
I agree with everything you said. If we teach our daughters early it will become a habit. We have taught our daughter and she helps me stay modest whether I like it or not. I see a lot of people wearing those jeans that have jewels across the bottom and they are wearing them to church too. I know I can’t help but look at them, so I know that men probably have a hard time. Thanks for reminding us to always try and improve ourselves for the Lord. Hope to see you at True Aim.
Tulip recently posted…Light Box Magic
It’s like a train wreck…you HAVE to look.
Just wondering what you do with infant girls. Teaching my daughter modesty is very important to me, but right now she is only three months old. Did you ever put your girl in just a onesie as a baby? If so, when did you stop that and start making sure her thighs, knees, etc are covered?
Well, Annie was a hot-natured baby. When she was little I would dress her in onesies on a regular basis. It was when she started walking and talking that I started focusing more on that type of thing. But, that’s just me.
Stacy,
As a grandmother and anti-human trafficking advocate, your post gives me hope for the younger generation of girls just being born. Modesty is indeed a biblical principle. It’s also a desirable way of life, no matter what your faith. Thanks for sharing what you’re doing in your piece of this world that God loves so much.
Elouise
You go, Grandma!
I’m behind you!
I have a 13 year old step-daughter that I have raised with my husband for more than 10 years.We also have 2 children together. I am modest and I teach my children modesty, but almost every time my step-daughter comes home from her ‘other’ mom’s house,she is dressed NOT modestly. I have done everything I can think of. Most of the clothes she wears from her mom’s, I tell her to take them back and to never wear them to our house again. It is a never ending battle that I can not see ending anytime soon. Luckily, I am completely in charge of what my younger two wear!
That is such a hard situation…it seems like you’re handling it well.
THANK YOU for this post! I was beginning to feel I was the only person in the world who this mattered to. I have a real problem with women who can’t keep their chests covered up. Am I the only one who is bothered by this?
I just spent the weekend with family members and a sister-in-law who flounced around all weekend with her bountiful cleavage showing. Why do I want my husband looking at this? (It didn’t seem to bother anyone else but me.)
The rest of the family is conservative and everyone else managed to stay covered up, even at the beach. Shouldn’t this part of your body also be just for your husband to see? And, suprise suprise, her collage age daughter dresses exactly the same way. Am I being too sensitive?
I know that some men really struggle with things like this…so the only solution for me would be to make sure everyone is covered up. A man cannot help but look at cleavage. It’s in their blood.
We also get most of our clothing from thrift or resale shops, they don’t have all the glitzy marketing that retail shops have which make your child want it all right now. Recently a friend sent home a bag of 10/12′s for my 7 year old daughter thinking I could put away anything I liked for when she was older, their clothing style is much more trendy than what we are used to though. I went through and got rid of anything with words or styling I didn’t like and put all the seasonal items in her drawers because my 7 year old prefers shirts that reach her hips and a size 10 short with an elastic waist will fit her and be an appropriate length. My friend was surprised that my daughter could wear that size and I didn’t have the heart to tell her it is because her 10 yr old dresses like a hoochie
(
I semi-understand.
Yesterday I had Annie in a size 5 dress but she’s only 3. 
I am so glad to see I’m not alone! Just stumbled upon your blog via a recipe on pinterest, and I am staying up far too late catching up
I have a 6 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old– both girls. I feel like I could’ve written parts of what you said– I have NEVER, even as babies, let them wear stuff with “cutie” across the bottom, and it drives me crazy to see that on grown women– but even more so on little girls who are being trained up to think that’s ok. They are allowed shorts, but they have to be below the middle finger when their arms are straight down. The biggest thing is two piece bathing suits… it is so much easier now to find tankinis that completely cover the belly, and those are my preference for little girls that need to potty quickly! My older daughter has two tankinis (Lands End)that have tops that cover the belly even when she raises her arms and skirted bottoms– and she loves that because she’s so girly and loves skirts! Win-win! I also try to keep them in skorts, but we practice sitting like a lady when wearing dresses or skirts to keep them more modest. We have found “cartwheel shorts” for my older one that are too short for shorts, but cover her panties under skirts and dresses and help her with modesty while allowing her to play and run around. One thing I have a hard time with is my daughter’s friends being allowed to wear things I wouldn’t let mine wear… and then the awkwardness when that mom looks at me like I have three heads when my daughter says “my mom won’t let me wear a bathing suit that shows my belly”… Not that I would ever bend to someone else’s parenting, but at the same time I hate that as women and moms we are so hard on each other. I think for the most part that even though we may be different in what we do, all of my mom friends and I are doing the best we know how to do. Goodness knows I’m not perfect, and I want to respect those parents while not compromising my values. Any thoughts? Kudos to you for your opinions, and I’m thankful to see there are other responsible parents out there! (BTW, my husband and I joke that we’re moving somewhere it’s freezing cold so they have to be covered up or die from exposure when they’re teens! Haha!)
Yes….I’m not sure that people in Alaska have the same problem we have here. LOL
AWESOME job, Mom! Keep up the good work. This country needs to get back to moral lifestyles and Christian too!
Thank you, Shar.
I’m 22, and, luckily, my parents had (do have) the same attitude as you. It may have been a fight in middle school, but I’m SO glad that they wouldn’t let me be like everyone else. Now, unlike plenty of girls on campus, I know that being stylish and appropriate are not mutually exclusive (: Plus, I’m better prepared for the real world, where ‘juicy’ shorts and ‘pink’ EVERYTHING do not contribute to what I want to accomplish.
Thanks for these comments. I’d always rather err on the side of caution and modesty than the other way around.
I love this article. My two girls wanted bikinis this year for summer….oh ya I was thrilled. I did comply with their request under the condition that I picked the suits out
he he he he he. I bought them both two piece suits that were shorts for the bottom and surfer style UV T-shirts for the tops. They were very cute, very covered, very stylish and I was pleasantly surprised that I had no argument from either one of my girls. (Ages 13 and 8) I wish more people would 1. pay attention and 2. put their foot down when they need to.
Ooooo, you’re one sneaky mama!
I have my moments… I was more impressed that there was no argument.
Yes – that’s VERY impressive.
I found this post after a recipe pinned on interest, but I think i will pin THIS- I love what you have to say. Honestly, I didn’t think I would be facing this issue for several years to come- boy was I wrong! I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old girl and my 3 year old LOVES things that are immodest. It drives me crazy. I require that she have sleeves, a covered belly, and at least fingertip length shorts– So all the dresses in the store are a battle, because they are sleeveless! I buy cute white shirts to wear underneath them and she fights me on it every single day. “NO Sleeves” she yells. And she will point out other people and very loudly tell me that they are dressed immodestly- its getting old to have the conversation every single day. But I guess the point is, I figure if I do it every day NOW- it won’t be a battle when she is 13
Right…hopefully?
I’ve been told that the battle is at age 3…and if we tackle it now, we won’t have to when they’re 6+ years old.
It’s nice to see an article on modesty and children. I have a 4 year old and 2 year old daughter and a third due in January. Modesty is very important to me and my husband. It is a running “joke” between me and my husband that if we see a young/teen girl in public dressed inappropriately we will just say “No” and the other will know what we mean and try to avoid that area (for my husband’s and daughter’s sake). It’s so sad that we have to be in that situation so often.
Yes, we have to protect our husbands as well.
Our daughter is 5 and modesty is something we have worked on since she was very young. We are blessed to get hand me down’s from various friends and I often find myself telling her that “those shorts don’t work for us’ usually because her booty would be hanging out or riding up into places that shouldn’t be seen. She handles it well and even her older brother will tell her when her shorts/skirts have grown too short. I also feel it is important for my daughter and I to dress modestly as an example of the type of women my son should look towards when he grows older. I will add that along with the juicy and cutie phase I can’t wait for the clothes covered in skulls to lose their popularity! I don’t dress my son or daughter in any of that stuff.
Ew. I don’t like skulls either. In fact, I don’t even understand the appeal.
Haha! I love this! My husband and I just had this discussion the other day! I bought a shirt at the consignment store and had the perfect cami to go under it. Well, I was in a hurry and forgot the cami. My oldest, who is 6, says Mommy, that shirt doesnt fit you, it shows too much skin! It is lower cut than I usually wear and shorter. My husband agreed and we were late because I had to find my long brown cami that covered my skin! I love when my children recognize things that we don’t necessarily tell them, but just show them. Thanks for being opinionated!