My Blog Is My Home

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Image from Flickr

This is a post that I have not wanted to write. I kept putting it off…but it’s an issue that finally needs to be addressed.

I hate confrontation. Hate it. I usually avoid it if at all possible. But, after seeking the advice from several trusted friends, I have come to realize that if I don’t confront this problem, it will NOT go away. It will only get worse. And that’s not something I can bear.

Image by r00pert

The Problem:

Over the past several months, I have been receiving several unkind emails and comments. I’ve posted some things on Facebook, just ideas or little tips, and sometimes they get beat down very harshly. Sometimes I get emails from readers telling me that I’m “annoying” or that I “only post common sense that everyone already knows,” and I’m “not helpful at all.”

I kept telling Barry and my family that these things weren’t bothering me – that with every comment, I got a thicker skin. Well, that’s a lie…and quite frankly, I don’t want to have thick skin. These comments hurt. Every time I get a nasty comment, it’s like a smack in the face.

Why? Because I love y’all. I write for you…to have fun and to teach. It’s hard to take that kind of hate when I don’t feel as though I’ve done anything wrong.

I feel beat down and hurt – and recently I just wanted to quit. But then my awesome friend, Leigh Ann from Intentional by Grace sent me this wonderful article: Don’t Be Ruled By The 1%. And wow…it spoke to me. 99% of my readers are nice – they say nice things to me and they are helpful. I enjoy you – thanks for being my friend.

I will NOT allow the 1% to rule how I feel about my blog any more.

I know this is something that other bloggers are dealing with as well – and I’m speaking out. We are not going to take this treatment any longer!

Image by loop_oh

The Fix

My blog is my home. Would you come into my home and say something disrespectful to me or to company that I was hosting? I would surely hope not. So, why would you say something nasty on Facebook or via email? Because you can’t see me? Well guess what, I’M REAL.

When you come to my blog, I expect you to treat me and my family with respect. I expect you to treat my guest posters with that same respect. If you don’t, you’re outta here. Plain and simple.

From hence forward, if Barry or I discern a comment to be rude or hurtful, it will be deleted. Immediately. Think about what you say before you write it.

Please don’t take this to mean that we don’t want you to comment! I love your comments and feedback! I thrive on it! :-)  But, please don’t come here to say something mean or nasty just because you’re mad about what I said…or because I hit a nerve.

It is possible to respectfully disagree. If you don’t like what I said, tell me why – but be kind about it. There is no need to be harsh, rude or judgmental.

So, whew. That’s it. I’m glad that’s over with. Let’s have fun now, shall we?


Comment Policy: I love hearing your thoughts and input on what I write. Since I write about what works at my house, what pleases my handsome hubby and darling children; I'm sure we'll disagree sometimes. In those cases, do what's right for you and yours. As with any form of communication, please only post comments that move the discussion in a positive direction.

About Stacy

Stacy is the author of Crock On: A Semi-Whole Foods Slow Cooker Cookbook and Keep Crockin': A Poorganic Slow Cooker Cookbook, and a stay-at-home and homeschooling mom to her two children, Annie (June 2009) and Andy (August 2012). After an “awakening” in March 2011, her family switched to a more natural, whole foods diet. She likes to blog about how to live on less than you make and how to eat good food while doing it. Her passion is teaching others how to save money and she tag teams with her husband in this endeavor. At Stacy Makes Cents you’ll find information on how to save money in the kitchen, how to have fun with your kids, and how to be thrifty in all areas of life. Her passion is teaching others how to live debt free. Make sure to follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and more to keep up with her daily antics.

  • http://www.livelovedew.com Crissy

    Stacy – I just found your site today and love everything I’ve read. I think a lot of people are afraid to get into blogging because of that exact reason. I agree everyone’s not going to agree, but there is a way to disagree and way to be downright mean. No matter if you have thick skin or not, things like this bother people. We all want to be liked, but I think Joyce Meyer said it best, 10% of people are never going to like you, there is nothing you can do, say or blog that is going to make them. So enjoy the people who do like you, who are enjoying your posts and know how to disagree politely!

    • Stacy

      Oh, I just love Joyce Meyer! :-) And yes, it is possible to disagree without being mean…I’ve had a few comments today that proved that. And I ENJOYED them! Thanks for leaving a comment Crissy! I’m tickled to know you’re enjoying my site.

    • Margo

      I agree! I hate confrontation, too, but it is part of life. Someone gave me some words of wisdom once about others who are unkind or have a bad opinion of you (wish I could remember who quoted this but it slips my mind) – “What you think of me is none of my business”. Piople have their own reasons for being unkind or disrespectful. It has nothing to do with you. Just keep on doing what you are doing, it’s your gift to share! :)

      • Stacy

        Oh my gosh! That quote is AWESOME!!!!! :-)

  • http://www.livelovedew.com Crissy

    Also you are the first person who has responded to something I’ve posted in a blog. I appreciate that more than anything, to know I’ve been heard! :-)

    • Stacy

      :-) I figure if y’all can take the time to comment, I can take the time to answer…and I just LOVE interacting with y’all!

  • Kasi

    Good for you Stacy! You said what needed to be, and you did it beautifully.
    Oh, and I love your posts, don’t let the meanies get you down ’cause you totally rock. :)

    • Stacy

      Thanks Kasi! :-) I appreciate the compliment!

  • Amanda

    Yes, keep up the good work! I love hearing what you have to say.

    • Stacy

      LOL I’m going to tell Barry you said that! :-)

  • Jacki V

    Hi Stacey,

    I am commenting from Australia and feel really sad that people have to be so cruel. If they don’t like what you say, just leave. I have loved, loved, loved your site – you are truly very quirky and enjoy life and sharing your knowledge and experiences. Please keep up the fantastic work as it all takes your time and I know, the majority love you. Wish more people were like you in the world!!

    Kindest regards

    Jacki

    • Stacy

      WOW!!!!!!!!! :-) That is AWESOME! I had no idea you were down there! Thanks for telling me! :-)

  • Lindsey

    Loving LifeBlogging is such an opportunity. I’m sad to see people abandoning the chance to express, to connect, to build relationships. For me, the love of blogging (and what it means to me) is why I’ve been in the game so long. It’s how I’ve met most of my current friends. It’s how I’ve stayed sane when I was an employee, and how I center myself today as a creator.

    • Stacy

      Yes…I have made COUNTLESS friends this way! So I consider myself VERY blessed. :-)

  • Jessica

    Good for you Stacy! I don’t understand why anyone would want to be unkind to you. It’s so immature and disrespectful. Especially since you don’t force yourself upon anyone. They can hit that “unlike” button just as easily as they hit the “like” button. No need to create hard feelings if they find that your blog isn’t what they need at that point in their life.

    I think you are thoughtful to read, hilarious, and very inspiring. Keep your chin up!

    • Stacy

      Well Jessica, I think the same about you! :-)

  • http://www.pagesbyheather.blogspot.com Heather

    Wow…lots of comments on this one! Just wanted to let you know that I think you are funny and real and I love that! And you have every right to expect respect when people visit. We are all adults and if we don’t have something nice to say we should keep our trap shut. I mean yes, we can disagree and discuss and no one loves a great debate more than I do, but it doesn’t have to get all nasty and personal in the attack. Glad you addressed it and glad you will be getting rid of it. Life is way too short to be treated poorly in your own home…er, blog!

    Heather

    • Stacy

      LOL It’s so funny that you said this…because I just got a comment from some random person that included TWO curse words about something they didn’t like about me. LOL So, thanks for this comment – it came at the exact right moment. ;-)
      Congratulations on your new little one!!!!

  • Amber

    Hi Stacy,

    I recently found your site through a link at The Humbled Homemaker, and have so enjoyed reading several of your posts :). I just finished reading this one and wanted to say that I have read (on other sites) some of those comments you’re talking about . I’m always shocked that some people feel they can say whatever they want, without any regard to someone’s feelings, just because they’re hiding behind a computer screen. I just don’t get it and I always hurt with the person targeted. All that to say, I do think you should remember that the vast majority, the 99%, respect you and enjoy reading your posts… even us newbies here! ;) Also, I am SO glad I found your “Food is Not Your God” post… it was exactly what I needed to read and I know God led me straight to your blog. I had been feeling discouraged and overwhelmed by all the mixed info and opinions about healthy eating changes I’m trying to make for my family, and you’ve helped and encouraged me. Thank you for that and thank you for the wonderful ministry of your blog! :)

    • Stacy

      Amber, thank you for your nice words! :-) They make me smile. Erin is a good friend of mine, so I’m glad you’re also enjoying her blog – she’s a special one. Thanks for coming here to read and you just let me know if ever need anything.

  • Heather

    Amen sister! You have a gift and others are just trying to tear you down. I just found you and I’m already blessed by your blog! I’m going to share your blog on my FB page so the rest of my friends can be blessed too! :)

    • Stacy

      Thanks Heather! I really appreciate that! :-)

  • Annie

    I guess I am always amazed that there are people who can be so hateful. No one, my self include is forced to read your blog. I chose to come visit almost every day because I love to hear what you have to share. I am not a blogger, but I enjoy readying and learning from others. No matter where you are in life, there will be those that try to bring you down, rather that be at home, work, school even church. Let the hateful ones take thier marbles and go home. It’s realty that easy.

    I am on your 99% list, and I thank you for sharing.

    • Stacy

      Annie, I am glad to welcome you to the 99% list! :-) Thanks SO MUCH for your support!

  • Diane Knickerbocker

    I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you. I’m really glad to have found a blogger that not only has information I can use but is a Christian. Thank you for not being afraid to state your faith in our crumbling world.
    Love in Him ,
    Diane

    • Stacy

      Thank you, Diane. :-) That was a very nice thing to say!

  • Penny. Thompson

    I have been reading your blog for a few weeks. Have found it to be very imformative. It is nice to get insight someone else’s family and thoughts.
    I am sorry that you have had unkind readers. I believe

    you did the right thing in your response. Take care and continue doing a great job . The best to you and your family.

    • Stacy

      Thanks, Penny! The best to you too. :-)

  • Joanne

    Thanks for being courageous to write this. True true this site encourages and inspires many mothers. I just loved the pot spaghetti recipe cant wait to try it. Apparently the accuser of brethren has followers out to kill this ministry. I am writing this from Nairobi. Here we say (Shetani) ashindwe i.e the (satan) is defeated. Keep up the good work and the good Lord encourage you in your inner man.

    • Stacy

      Thank you Joanne! You’ve given a lift to my spirit today. :-) I appreciate that.

  • http://Yahoomail.com Jan Beith

    There’s no excuse for someone not being respectful of another person.I’m sorry it happened but glad you addressed the problem.Keep on inspiring others !! God Bless you !!

    • Stacy

      I keep telling myself that their excuse is that they weren’t taught any better…let’s hope that’s the case. :-) Thanks Jan!!

  • http://www.stacymakescents.com/my-blog-is-my-home Shawna

    Hey Stacy!! I really don’t know where to begin or what to really say…I have SOOO enjoyed reading your blog..since DAY 1! And often times I find myself thinking..wow, I went to school with this gal and we never got a chance to know one another and I just love her personality..think of how cool she was back then! ;) Keep up the good (honest) work here and like you said..do NOT let the 1%ers get you down. You are great and are doing and awesome work for the kingdom!

    • Stacy

      Well Shawna honey…I didn’t even know you were a reader. LOL :-) Hi!!

  • Tina

    I just want you to know I think you are super, extra wonderful. I have a phrase I use – “Smile at the haters! It makes them mad!” LOL

    • Stacy

      :-) I think you’re wonderful too, Tina!

  • Rachel

    I absolutely love your blog and Facebook!!! I’ve been looking at all your old posts and I love it!! I’m part of the 99% I’ve always gone against the grain and dine my own thing and I love how down to earth you are!! I always have fun reading your blogs and trying your recipes out! Keep your head up and get rid of the haters :)

    • Stacy

      Thanks Rachel. I appreciate that. :-)

  • Dee

    I admit, initially I thought you had a very unique (if I may) sense of humor. Quite possibly since it is so much like mine? But your purpose and dedication for helping others shines through. Thank you! Love your site and looking forward to future posts. Be blessed.

    • Stacy

      Thank you, Dee. :-)