Note: this is a satire. I am not looking for advice or recommendations for dryer sheets. I’m using them as an example.
I hate static. It’s the bane of my existence. Who wants to lean down and kiss a sleeping baby only to shock both parties senseless? Who wants to kiss their husband and get whiplash from the head jerk after that unexpected electrification? You’ve been there. Ugh. It ain’t cool.
So, let me tell you…I’m hard headed. When I went through my EVERYTHING MUST BE NATURAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! phase, I determined to find a static solution that would work and wouldn’t kill me with cancer because everyone knows that dryer sheets and using the dryer will make your hair fall out and give you a permanent eye twitch…or something like that. Instead, what I ended up with was a permanent eye twitch from STATIC!
Now, I know this is only a problem I deal with in the winter. In the warm months, I dry everything outside and it’s humid so I don’t have the issues with static. I don’t have to worry that my Sunday skirt is sticking to my behind when I walk down the aisle in front of God and everybody.
I’m cheap too – so part of me didn’t really want to use dryer sheets because I could use that money for something else like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hmmmm. I’m not sure what else, but that’s what I kept telling myself. I’m really starting to doubt my sanity. (more…)