Life is Short…Buy the Dryer Sheets

Life is Short…Buy the Dryer Sheets
Note: this is a satire. I am not looking for advice or recommendations for dryer sheets. I’m using them as an example. ;-)

I hate static. It’s the bane of my existence. Who wants to lean down and kiss a sleeping baby only to shock both parties senseless? Who wants to kiss their husband and get whiplash from the head jerk after that unexpected electrification? You’ve been there. Ugh. It ain’t cool.

So, let me tell you…I’m hard headed. When I went through my EVERYTHING MUST BE NATURAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! phase, I determined to find a static solution that would work and wouldn’t kill me with cancer because everyone knows that dryer sheets and using the dryer will make your hair fall out and give you a permanent eye twitch…or something like that. Instead, what I ended up with was a permanent eye twitch from STATIC!

Now, I know this is only a problem I deal with in the winter. In the warm months, I dry everything outside and it’s humid so I don’t have the issues with static. I don’t have to worry that my Sunday skirt is sticking to my behind when I walk down the aisle in front of God and everybody.

I’m cheap too – so part of me didn’t really want to use dryer sheets because I could use that money for something else like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hmmmm. I’m not sure what else, but that’s what I kept telling myself. I’m really starting to doubt my sanity.  (more…)



How I FINALLY Helped My Kids Sleep Better

How I FINALLY Helped My Kids Sleep Better

I’ve mentioned several times on this blog how my children aren’t exactly good sleepers. Barry and I joke around that we haven’t really slept in almost 6 years. My Annie (currently 5 1/2) didn’t sleep through the night until she was over 4 years old. Four. Years. Old. FOUR. YEARS. OLD. I hated getting all the “does she sleep all night” questions…because really it made me want to lash out irrationally and poke someone’s eyeballs out. I’m just sayin’.

I read every. single. book out there. Really. Every single one. I thought each one would be a magic pill for me. Guess what? There is no magic pill. For every single child in the world, there should be a sleep book – because each child is different. And there isn’t a box you can put your kids into…because they bust out of there – I’ve tried. Even with duct tape. Okay, that was a joke (for those of you who are way too serious and were dialing the police).

Annie would have nightmares – she would wake up randomly – she would get up to pee – she would sing – she would talk in her sleep – she would walk in her sleep. It was as though she was afraid that by being asleep she would miss some great world event.

Andy has been a fairly good sleeper -but sometimes he has difficultly relaxing at night so he can go to sleep. I’ve started using some Relax essential oil from Plant Therapy and that’s helped him out a lot.  (more…)



If You Don’t Work, You Don’t Eat – Kids’ Chores {free printable}

If You Don’t Work, You Don’t Eat – Kids’ Chores {free printable}

Before someone calls CPS, let me explain. Every member of this house is expected to contribute. If you want to live here, you’re going to work. Plain and simple. And it’s Biblical – so just try and argue with me. ;-)

What happens if I decide to take the day off because “I just don’t feel like it?” Well kids, I know I should wash your underwear and fix some lunch…but yeah, I’m just not feeling it. So, whatever. I’m gonna lay here and watch The Young and the Restless while you play in the street – because I’m done being responsible and all that jazz. It’s just not for me.

Yeah. Right. (more…)



When to Clean the Toilet {free printable}

When to Clean the Toilet {free printable}

I used to be this super duper cleaning machine – I kept the house in tip top shape…and then I had my third child and lost my marbles. When Annie was born, almost 6 years ago, I developed Momnesia…and my mind has been a steel trap ever since (stuff goes in but comes out mangled).

I wanted to clean! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! But for some reason, I couldn’t get my act together. Some days I wouldn’t do anything at all – I’d just sit around on Pinterest, watch movies with the kids, or bake bunches of brownies. When your butt is plastered to the couch, it’s kinda hard to clean your toilet.

So dude – should I clean every single day? Should I just clean one day a week? Should I just leave the home alone and move once it became unlivable? The third option is really quite tempting.  (more…)



How Your Husband (or Wife) Can Make You Rich

How Your Husband (or Wife) Can Make You Rich

If you’ve read much of what I’ve written previously about relationships and money, you’ll find I regularly state that your finances won’t work if you and your spouse can’t agree on money. I’ve even given you my top five things I believe all spouses must agree on to win with money. What I’ve not told you is that there is serious research that shows your spouse has the power to make you filthy, stinkin’ rich. Okay, maybe not too stinkin’ because a good spouse will make you bathe so you’re agreeable to sleep next to…but I digress.

(more…)